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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275042">lovesick, no vaccine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifelined/pseuds/lifelined'>lifelined</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ENHYPEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Feelings, Heeseung is an INFJ Sunghoon is an ISTJ Can I Make It More Obvious, Lee Heeseung-centric, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:01:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275042</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifelined/pseuds/lifelined</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Either way, Heeseung doesn't feel quite as surprised as he thinks he should when Jungwon mumbles, quiet in the still night, "Heeseung-hyung, what are you going to do about Sunghoon?"</p><p>If there's anyone Heeseung could tell, anyone he could trust with his worries, it would be Jungwon. So he replies, as honest as he can possibly be: "I don't know, Jungwon-ah."</p><p>(Or: Heeseung feels, Sunghoon thinks. They make it work)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Heeseung/Park Sunghoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>WIP OLYMPICS: WINTER 2020/21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lovesick, no vaccine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wrote this while looping cravity's break all the rules like a crazed person. i'm totally fine it's just the heehoonery</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the mirror the world is shining on you<br/>
Break down the frame you’ve locked yourself in<br/>
— Break all the Rules, Cravity</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>Some nights, when Jungwon comes to him seeking comfort and they share a bed, Heeseung gets the feeling that it's more for his sake than for Jungwon's. It's always been a little awkward, especially when Jungwon wakes up much earlier than him, bright and chipper, meanwhile Heeseung's closer to a low-functioning zombie.</p><p>(But what about Heeseung's life isn't a little awkward, at this point, between the ever-shifting chemistry of their newly-formed group and the dichotomy of being a perfect idol and approachable mathyung?)</p><p>Regardless: Heeseung just knows that something's up tonight. Maybe it's the hesitation before Jungwon is about to speak, where there's usually only certainty. Maybe it's Jungwon pressing his head to Heeseung's shoulder, deliberately seeking contact, when usually they lay side by side and only touch accidentally.</p><p>Either way, Heeseung doesn't feel quite as surprised as he thinks he should when Jungwon mumbles, quiet in the still night, "Heeseung-hyung, what are you going to do about Sunghoon?"</p><p>Indeed. Jungwon, second-youngest yet the most fitting leader, never minces his words. Not now, when they've become so close like this.</p><p>If there's anyone Heeseung could tell, anyone he could trust with his worries, it would be Jungwon. So he replies, as honest as he can possibly be: "I don't know, Jungwon-ah."</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>The Enhypen members, well. They don't operate under any illusions of being super <em>close</em> yet or anything, even if some friendships are already starting to emerge. They don't need to when their close-enough-to-first meetings have already been captured for live television, dissected under the eyes of watchful fans. Even the trainees Heeseung had seen around the agency regularly had been kept at an arm's length before he had signed on to join I-Land.</p><p>Heeseung doesn't think it's anyone's fault, really. Jungwon had told him once that Heeseung had been unapproachable due to his #1 rankings. And the show had only perpetuated that, taking that "legendary trainee" narrative and exploiting it to the max. The truth is, like most other trainees, Heeseung just focused on his dream and not much else.</p><p>(If he would go back, he wouldn't change a thing. He's spent too long in the pursuit of idolhood, has watched other trainees debut or leave or give up while he strained to improve himself—he likes to think he's right where he needs to be.)</p><p>But somehow, over the course of the three years Heeseung spent as a trainee, it wasn't just his dancing or singing that had changed. Sure, he grew taller, became prettier, all the requirements for an idol.</p><p>He also realized that <em>maybe</em> he was attracted to guys. Girls, too, but that's a bit irrelevant here.</p><p>(He blames Jay, honestly, for bringing him on that trip to the Maldives anyway. Not that he'd ever let Jay know, because there's nothing more embarrassing than telling one of his oldest friends that he'd had his first kiss on an awkward summer fling with someone who, looking back, wasn't even objectively attractive.)</p><p>Look: Heeseung isn't attracted to every guy he meets, has a good sense of standards like any respectable teenager. But at the same time, there's no denying it—if there's any sort of benchmark test for whether Park Sunghoon was attractive, handsome, quote-unquote "boyfriend material"—well, he'd pass with flying colors.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>When Heeseung wants to improve on something, he gets a little (read: <em>very</em>) obsessive about it. As a trainee, he had focused on the basic things: singing and dancing, even rapping for a little bit before he realized his lyrics sounded better with a melody.</p><p>Now that he’s a freshly-debuted idol, however, Heeseung has a whole new obstacle to tackle: cuteness. And Heeseung, well, let’s just say he’s more interested in “powerful” concepts.</p><p>(Not that aegyo doesn’t have its own power. He’s seen the way Sunoo has used it on Sunghoon and Jake to bend them to his will.)</p><p>Regardless: it’s the most common topic brought up on every variety show, the act of performing aegyo in front of the other members.</p><p>“Heeddeungie,” he says, looking over to Sunoo to see if he’s earned a nod of approval from the aegyo master. He’s starting to switch up his hand signs, straying from the tried and true bunny-ear hands.</p><p>Besides Sunoo, their aegyo is more comedic than cute, for sure. As always, the rest of the members begin to laugh, Jay visibly cringing away from him.</p><p>(And as always, it’s Sunghoon’s low, quiet chuckle that Heeseung hears the loudest.)</p><p>Later, he and Sunghoon are in the kitchen together, Sunghoon watching as Heeseung nibbles on his salad.</p><p>“You’ve really been into the aegyo lately, hyung,” Sunghoon comments. Heeseung can feel his gaze raking down the side of his face, doesn’t quite know what to make of it. Earlier this week, Sunghoon had admitted on live broadcast that Heeseung had the charms of a maknae despite being the oldest member.</p><p>“Being cute, it’s a skill, isn’t it?” Heeseung shrugs, holding Sunghoon’s eye contact. Both of them had had their difficulties with Chamber 5, know firsthand the lack of restraint required to let go for aegyo.</p><p>(“How do you do it?” Heeseung had marveled, watching Sunoo pout with ease. He still doesn’t exactly get it; he admires Sunoo for the way he lives so brightly without holding back, unafraid to be himself.)</p><p>Heeseung, controlled in every inch of his life, holding back even as he converses with Sunghoon, has never been good at loosening up in that respect.</p><p>“As expected of Heeseung-hyung, then.” Sunghoon hums, leaning forward to poke Heeseung’s cheek. Heeseung stares at Sunghoon’s straight, thick eyebrows and wills his beating heart to stay still. “So <em>skillful.</em>”</p><p>“Yah,” Heeseung manages to get out, batting away Sunghoon’s hand. He even giggles, lighthearted, for a theatrical effect. “What’s up with you?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Sunghoon replies, sounding only marginally more sane than he had been while freaking out over pork slices. “Sometimes, I wonder—” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. “No, it’s fine.”</p><p>“You think too much,” Heeseung tells him, because that’s his default response to these things. Sometimes Jungwon’s rationality is nice, sometimes Jay mulling over a situation can be helpful, but Heeseung honestly doubts he would’ve been able to make it through three years of trainee life if he had thought over things half as hard as Sunghoon did.</p><p>Sunghoon stares at him for a couple of moments too long, inscrutable and blank-faced, then nods. “You’re right,” he says.</p><p>Heeseung’s about to sigh with relief and call it a day before Sunghoon follows that up with: “I just need to stop thinking. That’ll fix things.”</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>What is Heeseung going to do about Sunghoon? What is <em>Heeseung</em> going to do about <em>Sunghoon</em>? Absolutely nothing, that’s what.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>So Sunghoon is attractive. Big deal. Heeseung didn’t exactly pay any attention to this for a while, even if Sunghoon had a reputation around BigHit for being a prodigious figure skater. Sunghoon kept to himself, for the most part, a symptom of his busy schedule and his more introverted tendencies. And Heeseung, by nature, was often left alone as well—hard to connect as one of the best, usually only approached for advice.</p><p>All of that changed, of course, during I-Land. Heeseung had to accustom himself to living away from his parents and older brother, to the clumsy politics of teenage boys, to the pressure of his rank and his reputation coming before <em>him,</em> Lee Heeseung, as a person.</p><p>Yet despite the ever-shifting circumstances—the rise and fall in placings, the whispers that maybe this <em>legendary trainee</em> was undeserving of his title—Sunghoon had remained dependable and steady through it all.</p><p>Jungwon is someone Heeseung can share his troubles with in order to find a solution; Jay is someone Heeseung can shed his role of mathyung for and joke around with. But Sunghoon—Sunghoon is just someone he can rely on. Except “just” puts it too lightly, because being able to rely on anyone else, trusting another in their skills and capabilities, has always been a luxury Heeseung couldn’t afford.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>Heeseung, surprisingly enough, managed to survive I-Land only minorly traumatized by the horrors of reality television. He’s made a lot of good memories, actually, between the drama and incessant training.</p><p>There’s one day in particular that sticks out, of course: the time he, Jungwon, and Sunghoon had ventured outside of I-Land as part of their prize for placing within the top three.</p><p>He still remembers the skating rink vividly, standing beside Jungwon and watching with awe as Sunghoon glided across the ice with ease. Every turn seemed so natural, like water flowing, like Sunghoon had been more accustomed to skating than walking.</p><p>“I’m not good at skating, Heeseung-hyung,” Jungwon told Heeseung. “You go on without me, at first.” He didn’t dare look over at Jungwon, at the moment; he knew that he wouldn’t want to confront whatever expression Jungwon held on his face. He knew that Jungwon already understood, to an extent, and that vulnerability was frightening for both of them.</p><p>So Heeseung joined Sunghoon on the rink, laughing as he tried to keep up with Sunghoon across the ice.</p><p>“You’re really good at this, hyung,” Sunghoon said. His hair fluttered a little as he skated, like something out of a movie, his smile wide under the bright lights of the rink.</p><p>“As if,” Heeseung replied. Looking at Sunghoon seemed almost too overwhelming, right now, so instead, he watched through the phone camera. Filtered by objectivity, smaller than life, Sunghoon was no less beautiful.</p><p>Maybe that had been the beginning. Or maybe it had been when Heeseung first met Sunghoon all the way back in 2018, both of them awkward and unpolished. During the summer training camp, when Sunghoon had told him that they’d make it through together.</p><p>Either way, it’s an unobjectionable fact: Heeseung has feelings for Park Sunghoon.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>Clearly, Sunghoon doesn’t take his advice to <em>stop thinking,</em> because a couple days after their Given-Taken promotions end, Sunghoon stops by Heeseung’s bedroom and says, “hyung, I think we need to talk.”</p><p>“What is it?” Heeseung asks, sitting up from where he had been sprawled out on his bed, scrolling through cat videos. Normally the members get most of their issues ironed out through their biweekly group meetings, Jungwon making sure conflicts get resolved quickly and without much fuss. Normally, Sunghoon doesn’t even have any problems with getting along with Heeseung in the first place.</p><p>(Alright, Heeseung will stop pretending like this is <em>normal.</em> It never has been, with the two of them.)</p><p>“I’ve been thinking,” Sunghoon begins, which is never a good start to any sentence in Heeseung’s book. Sunghoon walks over and sits down at the end of Heeseung’s bed gingerly. “Um. I talked to Jake the other day.”</p><p>“That’s great?” Heeseung replies, a little bewildered. Jake and Sunghoon are nearly attached at the hip around half the time, so Sunghoon telling him that he’s talked to Jake is a little like saying <em>water is wet</em> or <em>Sunoo is cute.</em></p><p>Side note: Heeseung might’ve been jealous of Jake, at some point, but one day Jake had come up to him, telling him solemnly that he supported Heeseung in his secret quest for Sunghoon’s heart (yeah, Heeseung had been lost for words too—was he really <em>that</em> obvious?) and that #LoveIsLove. Heeseung figured it was some Australian thing and promptly tried to scrub the conversation from his memory entirely—he had never felt more mortified in his <em>life.</em></p><p>“We talked about, um. Feelings,” Sunghoon says, with great difficulty.</p><p>Heeseung squints at Sunghoon. “That must have been very hard,” he says solemnly, the corners of his mouth twitching to contain his smile.</p><p>“It <em>was,</em>” Sunghoon agrees fervently before he catches Heeseung’s expression. He frowns. “Wait. I’m being serious right now.”</p><p>Heeseung crosses his arms. “Fine, I’ll be serious, too,” he says. He straightens his posture. “What’s up, Sunghoon-ah? You know you can tell me anything.”</p><p>“I think,” Sunghoon says, brow furrowed. His eyes dart from Heeseung’s face to the bedspread. “No. I <em>know</em> that you like me, Heeseung-hyung.”</p><p>(And sure, maybe Heeseung kind of saw this coming. Jake Sim isn’t exactly the most subtle guy in the world, especially while winking horribly at Heeseung over the kimbap they’d had for lunch. The way Sunghoon keeps blushing, pretty and pink like the makeup Sunoo likes to apply, doesn’t help matters)</p><p>But before Heeseung can say anything in response, Sunghoon continues, rushed: “And I like you too. I—it took a while to realize it, but I thought it would be good if you knew.” He sighs once he’s finished getting that all out as if he had finally unloaded a heavy weight off his chest.</p><p>Maybe it’s time Heeseung shares in Sunghoon’s burdens, as well. He reaches out across the bed, grasping onto Sunghoon’s hand. Sunghoon’s fingers are sweaty and nervous against his, but he doesn’t mind it at all.</p><p>“Thanks for telling me,” Heeseung says, quiet. He looks into Sunghoon’s eyes, the reserved emotion held there, all the unspoken things they’re both too shy to voice out loud. Their silent forms of affection are no less strong for it. “I—I know I’m the older one here, but I don’t really know what we’re doing, Sunghoon-ah.”</p><p>“That’s what I realized, though. That it would be okay if we didn’t know,” Sunghoon replies. He bites down on his lower lip. “Like, think about all of this. All of us. Everything’s so new, but—”</p><p>“But we’re doing alright,” Heeseung finishes for him. He squeezes Sunghoon’s hand, feels secure as they sit there together. Two boys on the cusp of becoming men, two idols barely removed from trainee life—they’ll be okay, in the end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry if this is bad i wrote it within like 3 hrs... comments appreciated! <a href="https://twitter.com/storyboxed">twitter</a>  // <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/axiomatic">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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